Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?
Decolonization 101 Workshop in 5 Minutes
Sometimes using phrases like “Exercising Sovereignty”, ” Our Jurisdiction”, “Illegally Occupied Territories”, “Decolonization”, “Indigenous Nationalist”, “Nationhood”, “Warrior Society” “Resurgence of Traditional Governance”, “Autonomy” may seem too militant of terms to use as we gather together and discuss our Peoples History and mobilize within our communities, heck I hear recently the Leadership of a Cree Community in Quebec by use of a Band Council Resolution banned a person from organizing Powwow’s and Sweat lodges http://www.mediaindigena.com so keeping in mind of our people who are not ready for such things here is a passive watered down version of ACTION’s Decolonization 101 Workshops, titled Why did the Chicken Cross the Road?
SOVEREIGN INDIAN: This is the Chickens inherent right as he is Indigenous to this land!!!
MILITANT INDIAN: That chicken should block the road to protect whats on the other side
GRASSROOT INDIAN: If the darn chickens need to get across the road, let ’em cross the darn road!
COLONIZED INDIAN: Chiggens should never cross the roads that white men built before the great white father crosses it first. If the white father crosses it, it is good. We must then follow.
AMERICANIZED INDIAN: We must have roads. We must cross the roads that the white man built for us. We have to be thankful to the white man for this. I don’t know why you Indians are always complaining. You embarrass us. Chickens are good for us.
REPUBLICAN INDIAN: It’s true that that white man built those roads for us. We are merely chickens. We will always be chickens until we learn to build those roads ourselves – for profit.
DEMOCRATIC INDIAN: The chicken crossed the road because he didn’t have enough funding.
TRADITIONAL INDIAN: Those chiggens weren’t traditional because they were supposed to be on it – not crossing it!
INDIAN GRANDPA: I think he was runnin’ away from rezidential school.
URBAN INDIAN: That chicken crossed the road ’cause it was a city, man. You know what I mean?
NEW AGE INDIAN: It was basically because of Jungian dream therapy, drumming, sweatlodges, my shaman, and long walks on the beach, near my beach house.
POW WOW INDIAN That chicken must have been heading to a 49!
EDUCATED INDIAN: I think it has to do with Einstein’s theory which basically posits: “Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?”
REZ INDIAN: What Road?
IHS INDIAN: I really don’t care why he crossed that road. We still aren’t paying for no stinkin hospital bills. BIA INDIAN: They crossed it because of CFR 49, Section 11299, gives them the authority to do so, under Department of Interior regulations, in the Executive Branch. They wrote a grant and we funded them. We are very proud of them.
KFC INDIAN: I’ll take a leg, a thigh, with corn and potatoes. Extra Crispy, please.
TRIBAL INDIAN COUNCIL: The chicken crossed the road before we did? Fire his family!!!
“Let’s not be Chickens afraid to Cross the Road, Too chicken to speak up and take action worrying about what the butcher will think of us or worrying about what the other chickens waiting to get butchered will think.
We need to cross this road because you never know what’s coming down the road 1000 miles per hour ready to smack dab hit us as we inactively debate and trying to make up our minds on how we should, when we should, if we should and what words are acceptable to use as we try to get motivated to cross this damn Road.” – Johnny Hawke not Johnny Chicken
Decolonization 101 Workshops coming to a community near you. If interested in organizing one in your community contact firstname.lastname@example.org